The Consequence Was .......

A story in several voices by : M., C., G., A., V., E. and W.

A:
I was sitting on a bus one day when I felt the woman behind me tap me on the shoulder, I turned round and said

" who are you and why did you tap my shoulder " 

The woman said   " I thought I recognised you, you look just like someone I knew years ago, when I worked in a florist's shop. "

.... " I haven't been in a flower shop for years "  I said,  " what made you think I was the same person? "

" Well, "  she replied  " The woman who came into the florist's, had the same kind face that you have and she helped me when I was in trouble "

I was intrigued by her story and asked  " what kind of trouble "

" I was accused of stealing from the shop but I didn't do it and the kind lady helped me "

" but how could she help? "  I asked

" She told the owner that she had seen the real thief "

and the consequence was ......

The woman who had seen the thief explained what she had seen.

E:

" The thief was smaller than I am and had red hair. My hair is brown. You know, many people cannot remember things exactly, when they are contacted by the police "  said the lady.

The police caught the thief and he had to go to jail.

The policeman went home after work. At home his wife and five children were waiting for him.

His wife asked:  " What was it like at work today? " 

 " The thief that I caught has been imprisoned "   The man told them.

Then Davie, the smallest child, said :  " Dad, did he steal some flowers  ?".

The father smiled: " He hasn't taken any flowers " 

The mother set the table and said: " Come for dinner and eat, then you can discuss your news." 

and the consequence was ......

W:

Hearing about the description of the witness the police decided to arrest the thief and interrogate him. 

" Do you know, why we arrested you? You have stolen 120 red roses.  that's a very serious crime and you may have to go to jail for a long time. Why did you do it? "

" I had a very bad argument with my wife and would like to buy her these roses for the reconciliation but when I was in the shop I saw that there was no money in my pockets. So I stole the roses because my wife had begun to pack her bags and I had to hurry up to hold her back from leaving. I would have paid for the roses later ".

" Why didn't you pay for the roses later ? "

" I was afraid I would get into trouble because they wouldn't believe my story... but now I've got the money here and want to pay. Can't you forget my mistake? My wife does not know about it. "

" Sorry, Sir, I can't do that. Also your wife is waiting outside to see you, and I can tell you: she isn't amused to be married to a common thief. She looks so angry, I'm glad, that she isn't my wife... We'll take her to you now. Perhaps I think it is punishment enough for you to talk to her but the last word will be spoken by the judge..."

The wife came in and was not amused to see her husband at the police station. She began to shout about the no-good character of her husband. The policemen went out of the room and smiled about this shrew.

...and the consequence was ......

A:

The policemen were so busy laughing about the wife that they forgot to keep their voices down.

The first policeman said

" Did you see his face when he knew his wife was outside, he was as white as a sheet! "

" Yes,"  said the second policeman,  " if she's such a harriden, I'm surprised he was prepared to risk jail to make her change her mind about leaving "

" I'd have preferred jail to living with a shrew like that "  said the first one

" Well, if he does go to jail, at least he'll be used to doing as he's told "  said the second one

" WHAT ! Are you saying, I'm a shrew!! "  screamed a voice from the doorway

 " Ahhh!! "  said both policemen at the same time, becoming very red faced 

" Well ! ... I'm waiting for an answer "  said the wife (because of course, she was the voice in the doorway)

" It's just you seemed so angry with him, that we thought it was funny that he had stolen roses and risked jail to make you stay and now you're going to leave him any way!"

 said the second policeman (who was obviously a bit braver than his colleague)

"Are you saying that he stole the roses because he loved me ? "  she asked

" Oh, yes, that's what he told us, the roses were to persuade you to stay but he had forgotten his money in all the upset of the argument "  

replied the first policeman (who had recovered his nerve by now)

and the consequence was ......

Events took a most unexpected turn.

G:

The wife looked the policeman in the eye and said.

'' I don't love him. I never did.  I only married him for his money. He lied to you.  He wasn't buying the roses for me ''

" 'What do you mean? "   asked the first policeman, wishing he had stayed  in bed and not gone to work that day. 

" He knows I don't like roses ''  she replied .

'' Do you think he intended to pay for them? ''    the policeman asked quizzically.

'' No. Put him in jail and throw away the key ''   said the wife  and left the police station.

The policeman decided to investigate further and returned to the florist's to see if the shop  had closed circuit television.  (CCTV- security cameras) 

and the consequence was ....... 

M:

 Next day the policeman came into the jail to see the thief and to ask questions.

" I am so sorry for you,” he said, “ but your wife is furious with you. In the jail you're safe and no one will annoy you,” he continued.

“ It is absurd telling me that,” the thief answered. "I don't want to stay here any longer. Let me out! "

“ You know you have been very stupid stealing roses for a wicked wife,” the policeman said.

“ Well, I admit that ,” said the thief, “ but my wife was not very nice, you know and she knows nothing about cookery.”

“ We're going to re-examine your case. You're a poor fellow," the policeman said.

and the consequence was ......  

V:

The man who had stolen the roses had to spend three days in jail.

 On his release from prison, a prison attendant asked 

" What are you going to do now ? "

" I thought about buying some flowers for my wife to calm her down "

It was hard for her not to burst out in a hearty laugh

" Wouldn't it be better ........."

and the consequence was ......

The man was released from prison.

C:

The prison attendant said to the man when he was released

" You, would do better to go with your wife to a restaurant and spend your money on a good meal " 

The man who had stolen the roses said,

" I  love flowers so much, therefore I wanted to buy flowers for my wife and hoped, she would love the flowers also " 

" This was not a good idea " said the Prison attendant.

" Yes" said the rose thief  " I know that now, I will go to a restaurant, that is a good idea. My wife can eat from a good menu, can enjoy good food and I hope she will learn to cook. I will say this to her ! "

and the consequence was ......

A:

The man was lucky, he was not prosecuted for the theft of the roses but given an "Official Caution".

He was so relieved that he decided to follow the prison officer's advice and a few days later he took his wife to a very expensive restaurant.

As they walked through the door the Head Waiter approached (came towards) them and said

" Good evening Sir and Madam. Do you have a reservation ? "

" Oh no ! " said the man " I'm afraid I forgot to make one, do you have a table for two free please ? "

The Head Waiter looked dubious (in doubt) and replied  

" We are rather busy tonight Sir but I will see what I can do "

He walked away and consulted a large book which was resting on a lectern (a stand for holding books, often seen in restaurants or churches etc). He returned saying sympathetically

" We appear to be fully booked tonight, I'm sorry I have nothing available. "

The man was desperate, he could see his wife was becoming angry with him again, so he said 

" Is there nothing available at all, I know I was foolish not to book in advance but it is a special occasion "

" Oh yes!, " said his wife sarcastically  " It's a special occasion alright, if I don't get my restaurant meal as promised, I'm definitely leaving. "

" Leaving ? " replied the Head Waiter quizzically " but as we have no tables free, that's what I would expect " 

" Not leaving the resataurant " replied the wife " leaving him " and pointed at her husband.

" Madam " said the Head Waiter " I cannot have that on my conscience, I will see if I can fit you in somehow "

 and left to consult his book again, returning a few minutes later smiling broadly

" Good news! " He announced " Whilst we were talking, someone phoned to cancel their reservation. I  have got a table for you after all. If you would care to follow me "

 and he walked ahead of them to a table in the corner.

" Well, I hope you are enjoying your meal but I wanted you to know how much you meant to me. There was no mistress you know but because I was upset I'd forgotten you didn't like roses " said the man

" Yes, I am enjoying the meal " said his wife  " and I'm sorry, I've been so angry recently but it has all been a great shock. "

" I'm sorry, about everything that happened too "  He said  " Perhaps we can forget the past and start again. "

" Yes, let's do that " she said.  

At that moment the Head Waiter reappeared with something behind his back 

" As you are celebrating a special occasion, these are for you Madam, with the compliments of the management "   He said, proudly producing  ...... an ENORMOUS bouquet of red roses !!!

The husband and wife looked at each other for a few moments and then they both burst out laughing. The poor Head Waiter looked completely nonplussed (Totally confused).

" But whatever are you laughing about ? " he asked 

They both turned to him, tears of laughter running down their faces and replied in unison (together).

" Our special occasion is to celebrate the end of an affair which began with roses and now it seems, it ends with them too. We have been very rude but we couldn't help laughing .... Thank you very much for the roses they're beautiful. " 

Then still laughing they left the restaurant arm in arm .......

and the consequence was ......

They lived happily ever after..........

Many thanks to M., C., G., A., V., E. and W. for their contributions
corrected by A., England